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HELLO. HALLO. BONJOUR. BUON GIORNO. KONNICHI WA. SALAAM. ZDRAVSTVUITE. NEIH HO
As members of the human race we must all come together in silliness. We may speak different languages but we all can unite and react together on witnessing a man slipping on a banana skin. We all wear socks. We all shit. Let's do this together.
Support The Sausage Farmers
Hernandez and his failed sausage crop.
Dozens of sausage farmers are facing a bleak winter after the sausage crop failed this summer. Hernandez Rodriguez, 52, said " I don't know what we are going to do. Not only has the crop failed but I have just put down a deposit on a mechanical sausage harvester. This is very bad for me and my family. How can I dig for sausages if I do not have the money to buy the proper equipment?"
He added, " Thank goodness for the Trouserflap website, the hits that it is getting is keeping my family in emergency food supplies. Thanks, Trouserflap and thank you all of the people visiting his page."
He added, " Thank goodness for the Trouserflap website, the hits that it is getting is keeping my family in emergency food supplies. Thanks, Trouserflap and thank you all of the people visiting his page."
NEWS
Harry Blunt
Man With Eight Arms Attacked By Octopus
Charity worker Harry Blunt was recovering in hospital yesterday after he was attacked by an octopus while wearing a fancy dress costume. " I was wearing my squid outfit when it came at me out of nowhere. It was horrible. I think the arms on my costume must have attracted it. Luckily, it wasn't mating season. Actually, I would have rather enjoyed that." Harry sends his kind regards to all the well wishers who have sent him cards. Get well soon, Harry.
Charity worker Harry Blunt was recovering in hospital yesterday after he was attacked by an octopus while wearing a fancy dress costume. " I was wearing my squid outfit when it came at me out of nowhere. It was horrible. I think the arms on my costume must have attracted it. Luckily, it wasn't mating season. Actually, I would have rather enjoyed that." Harry sends his kind regards to all the well wishers who have sent him cards. Get well soon, Harry.
Councillor Eddie Blandde Dies
Councillor Blandde
Respected local Councillor Eddie Blandde died yesterday after a long battle against being hit by a bus. His wife Sally said, " Eddie was a vile man. He never treated me or took me anywhere. Good riddance. The bastard." Councillor Blandde was a popular member of the community and will be missed. Mainly due to the fact that he is dead. He will be cremated next Tuesday at two thirty. Then his ashes will be cremated, just in case.
Magician Stuns Crowd
Harry in his crate.
Magician/ Escape Artist Harry Munt stunned crowds with a spectacular display of wonder yesterday. He was sealed in a crate after being tied and handcuffed. The tension built and the crowd were going wild. Ten minutes later the crate was opened and to everybody's amazement...he was still in there. How did he do it? It really was an amazing feat. Well done, Harry!
Celebrity Visitors
Harrison Ford
" I have no intention of visiting this site again. I am a busy man. I can't visit every two bit site on the internet. Especially ones like this. I mean, it doesn't even have a point. Or a chatroom."
Madonna
" What the fuck is this shit?"
Beyonce
" The bastard got me to click the link by deception."
Victoria Beckham
"I was browsing the web for new pantage but there aren't even any trousers here. I mean, who calls themselves trouserflap?" :(
TROUSERFLAP'S CONGRATULATORY CORNER
Mr. Harry Tinkle
CONGRATULATIONS to Mr. Harry Tinkle of 14a, The Crescent, Lancashire, on being the 70, 551, 764th person to NOT visit this site. Well done, Harry.
Support Jonny Krabbs
Jonny Krabbs
Remember, every visit to this site contributes toward another can of Special Brew for Jonny Krabbs. So please, visit regularly and support Jonny. Thanks.
Guestbook.
One of these pictures contains an onion and a sock. Can you find it? Take your time.
